Free Range Tuna

The “Diversity” of the GOP

Michael Dove — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:44:59 +0000

John McCain’s campaign manager has described the group of Republican convention speakers as “diverse.”

Chosen for the event are, President Bush, Dick Cheaney, Rudy Giuliani, former Dem Joe Lieberman, and of course, McCain, himself.

“the senator wanted the list of speakers to showcase the “diversity” of the Republican Party.”

It’s amazing how such a varied and different group of old, rich, white guys could be pulled together.

Way to Kill Your Friday Work Time #452

Michael Dove — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 14:35:34 +0000

Great site I just discovered that will surely eat up at least 35 minutes of your day at your job that requires you to sit in front of a computer until 5.

Sorry I Missed Your Party is a blog dedicated to those awful party pictures put up on their photo websites. The site gives a little commentary on the submitted pictures of public drunkenness/embarassing states of undress/pathetic gatherings. WARNING: Some of the pictures can be slightly NSFW, so be careful.

I found that the earlier posts were best, but the site seems to update at least once a day.

This may be the ugliest party I’ve ever seen.

What’s Going On

Michael Dove — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:24:24 +0000

–A busy Court: The decision goes against the DC gun ban. Apparently, there’s a right to hunt in the District. When I see buffalo threatening my apartment complex, I’ll agree. Awesome. Thanks, Douche bags. Also, when will we give up that whole, need for a militia crap? (Washington Post)

–A few views on the Supreme Court’s decision, yesterday, on the death penalty. Time to re-think this whole thing? Here’s some extra info about how we kill people, legally. Sigh. (Various)

–PS–The Onion chimes in.

–Hand dryers v. paper towels. (Slate)

–Powell for Obama? (Salon)

–No stimulus for me—I fell into the “student loan” category. (USAToday)

–The fallout of Shaq’s rap—he’s been fired by the Police force; must turn in his badge. And here, I almost forgot about him being a rent-a-cop. Glad we sorted that out. (Yahoo)

–Holy crap, these Euro matches have been amazing. Look for my upcoming football/soccer blog in the coming week.

What’s Going On

Michael Dove — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:20:15 +0000

A roundup of links around the Web:

–Celine Dion makes ears bleed with AC/DC cover (Yahoo).

–SLATE’s lamentation of the semicolon.

–Naan for Nana (Onion).

–’Guitar Hero’ could be more Fab [4] (Rolling Stone)

–Blackburn Rovers hire first black manager in Premier League, Paul Ince (Guardian).

–God bless the Internet 2.0 (Dickipedia)

Are You Kidding me?! 15 Years???

Michael Dove — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 16:30:16 +0000

When news of a re-issue of the out of print album Exile in Guyville, by Liz Phair was announced, I got a little excited. “Oh….I let some ex-girlfriend borrow that once and never got it back…it’ll be nice to replace it.”

What’s the occasion for the re-issue?

It’s the 15 year anniversary this week.

15 years????????? When did that happen? Wasn’t I just listening to it in my walkman? Or was it the tape player in my dad’s car, parked in the driveway, because I didn’t want anyone in the house to hear the lyrics? If that was 15 years ago, then how long ago was it that I bought the CD version, still mesmerized by the idea of a grown woman/rocker possibly more fascinated with sex than every guy in my high school? When in that 15 years did I loan said compact disk out, then have to replace it with a burned copy, illegally downloaded from Napster on my college computer, freshman year?

Oh.

I guess it has been a while.

Will the song content still make me look over my shoulder to see if anyone heard Liz talking about being the “Queen” of a specific skill (although, it will be on an ipod this time)? Will I still feel way to young to be listening, or feel too old as the attitude of recklessness is passing me by? Will I write another blog post to shamelessly put pictures of my once-upon-a-time-make-believe-girlfriend on my site?

A Silver Lining for Domenech

Michael Dove — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:26:38 +0000

I have been meaning to write posts about the ongoing Euro 2008 football/soccer tournament. Now that the whole thing is half way over, I may be late to the game…er, “match,” but I’ll give it my valiant effort.

Fun little news story coming out today: Football powerhouse France were just dumped from the tournament after a 2-0 defeat to Italy. After the loss, Frenchie manager, Raymond Domenech, was approached for comment. Did he complain about the ref? Did he moan on about the over-aggressive tackling of the Italians? No.

He proposed to his girlfriend.

“I have only one plan at the moment, it is to marry Estelle, and it is only this evening that I ask for her hand in marriage,” said Domenech, who had been asked about whether he felt he had a future as France coach.

“There are beautiful things in life,” Domenech told reporters. “In difficult moments, you want to tell people you love them, you want to say the things that matter.”

Cue Hollywood pitch-makers, and get Roberto Benigni some glasses (I know Benigni is Italian—don’t worry–Americans won’t be able to tell the difference between the accents).

Crap We Found by the Side of the Road On the Way Home From the Bar, 2.0

Michael Dove — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 19:18:34 +0000

You know how you see another person’s trash and think to yourself, “Gee. I could make use of that.”

Now, thanks to the internet, and especially Craigslist, you can do that from the comfort of your own cubicle.

First Documented Natural Child Conception by 2 Women

Michael Dove — Fri, 30 May 2008 16:03:28 +0000

Zac Hanson, the “littlest Hanson of all,” is now the proud parent of a baby boy. Her, and her wife, Kate, welcomed John Hanson, 8lbs 4 ounces on Tuesday. The discovery will surely baffle biologists, as all we know about human procreation has now been altered.

Wait. Zac is a guy? I had no idea. Huh…what a shock.

His sisters, Issac and Taylor were unavailable for comment.

Free Range Tuna: Bringing you fresh humor that’s as good as it was in 1996!

Next week: Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton, and Woody Allen jokes.

The Gods Must Have Cameras

Michael Dove — Fri, 30 May 2008 15:40:10 +0000

The BBC has reported that a previously undiscovered, and currently uncontacted tribe has been found on the border of Brazil and Peru.

Here’s hoping they didn’t drop a Coke bottle while taking these pictures.

That’s no Moon…that’s a Days Inn.

Michael Dove — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 19:20:11 +0000

Sorry to be putting up so much Star Wars stuff on the site, but….OK, I’m not actually sorry.

Today’s findings are a hotel in Azerbaijan that looks an awful lot like a certain planet-killing battlestation:

Rumors persist, that a well-placed missile, shot down the 2 meter-wide laundry chute will only make the cleaning staff very angry.

Wonder if there is a non-Imperial, unionized contractor crew handling the construction?

I will now stop making stupid references.

Also found on the interwebs is this sweet* ride:

*note: sweet, in this instance, means “ridiculous and will guarantee you an open schedule on Friday nights.”