Need help in your Oscar pool this year? Well, look no further, as here comes the 1st Annual Free Range Oscar Picks!
As is the standard format* at FRT**, we’ll order the categories from least “prestigious” to most.
We’ll also skip those Scientific and Technical Awards things because no one has any clue what those are about. This bit of the broadcast always illicits the same 2 responses from everyone watching:
1) “Oh. Look who’s hosting–it’s Scarlett Kate Salma Gyllenhaal Alba. ……Huh.”
2) “That guy who just won—-I could swear he was one of the “indoor kids” I went to middle school with….”
*As standard as a 1st annual event can be
**Note to self: when you abbreviate the name of your blog, it looks like a text message version of “fart.” Look for new abbreviation.
So, here we go—
“Juno” (Fox Searchlight), Written by Diablo Cody
“Lars and the Real Girl” (MGM), Written by Nancy Oliver
“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.), Written by Tony Gilroy
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Brad Bird; Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird
“The Savages” (Fox Searchlight), Written by Tamara Jenkins
The award was called “Academy Award for Best Story” from 1928 to 1956. The first winner was Underworld. It was not about werewolves.
WHAT SHOULD WIN:
“Lars and the Real Girl”
Come on. It’s about a dude who has a “normal, meaningful relationship” with a blow-up doll. Could you make that up? No, me neither. Oh, Hollywood!
WHAT WILL WIN:
In case you haven’t heard, the writer, Diablo Cody was a former stripper who wrote a blog about her experiences. Or, you may have heard this EVERY TIME THIS FILM IS MENTIONED IN ANY MEDIA OUTLET. But just in case, the Academy will be sure to hammer the fact home and make sure they legitimately get a stripper up on stage, for once.
Unless you count those dancers from the “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.” …..I’m going to go ahead and stop there.
“Atonement” (Focus Features), Screenplay by Christopher Hampton
“Away from Her” (Lionsgate), Written by Sarah Polley
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Screenplay by Ronald Harwood
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Written for the screen by Paul Thomas Anderson
WHAT SHOULD WIN
“No Country For Old Men”
Captured the pace and tone of the novel very well, while streamlining it for film. Exactly what this award should…um…award.
WHAT WILL WIN
“No Country for Old Men”
The Coens will get some love for their bit of a departure in tone and their first adapted script.